Entry 2: The Comfort in Loneliness

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Van Gogh's painting. Cafe Terrace at Night. Introduction to Loneliness There seems to be a strong stigma that exist about loneliness. A lot of people would admit to being depressed than they would admit to being lonely. People fear being judged as unlikeable, a weirdo, or a loser so they don't really discuss their feelings of being alone, being alienated, or being excluded. And by not feeling free to discuss about loneliness adds to the problem and to the judgments of the experience. If people judge themselves for feeling lonely, it makes it even more difficult to change the situation. The general idea seems to be that if we don't have friends, then there must be something wrong with us. But it's actually not like that. Feeling lonely has little to do with how many friends we have. It's the way we feel inside of us. Some people may feel lonely because they rarely interact with other people and some may feel lonely even though they are surrounded by people, ...
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Entry 1: The Suffering

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Van Gogh's painting. Wheatfield with Crows.

It has been years, and the end seems nowhere to be seen. I just need it to stop following me, but it'll never stop. I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much, much better time asleep. And that's really depressing. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare. I can't eat, and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human. And the world we live in, is a horrible hell of endless suffering, where we desperately fight for a false sense of happiness which subtly covers our fear for loneliness and imminent death and perpetually prolongs the illusion that life is a gift. 

Entry 1: The Suffering.

Suffering, suffering, suffering.
I don't know what's going on in my head,
I don't know what's wrong with my head,
I can feel everything,
And I can feel nothing,
At the same time.

Suffering, suffering, suffering.
When will all this suffering end?
When will all this pain end?
Will it ever end?

Suffering, suffering, suffering.
Would you be able to stop it?
Would you be able to help?
Would you?

Suffering, suffering, suffering.
The sea wants to take me,
The knife wants to slit me,
Do you think you can help me?



"Some people survive and talk about it. Some people survive and go silent. Some people survive and create. Everyone deals with unimaginable pain in their own way, and everyone is entitled to that, without judgement. So the next time you look at someone's life jealously, remember that you may not want to endure what they are enduring right now, at this moment, whilst they sit so quietly before you, looking like a calm ocean on a sunny day. Remember how vast the ocean's boundaries are. Whilst somewhere the water is calm, in another place in the very same ocean, there is a colossal storm."

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